Living on a Prayer
by Scathach24
Summary: Deidara is not your typical fifteen year old girl. She's highly dangerous and highly knowledgeable about explosives to a point where she no longer needs to attend school and uses bombing to make a living. Soon she is coerced into joining a criminal organization known as Akatsuki. This should be fun. No pairings. Fem!Deidara, gore, violence, language.
1. lets make a deal

This was living.

Deidara was fifteen and already she was a powerful asset and on her own, having gotten her GED already. She was even making a pretty good living, offering her skills as a bomber to the highest bidder. She was a perfect example of why you shouldn't judge books by there covers.

First glance you saw a sweet and innocent (looking) teenage girl. Pretty, but not entirely noticeable at first glance. Long blond hair in a high ponytail and unassuming attire. Thing is this particular girl could build and dismantle more bombs than you could name, blind folded and with one hand.

To put it mildly you didn't want to mess with her.

Currently she had set herself up in a big city, waiting for a reply from her most recent employer.

Deidara took a shower and waited for room service. As she finished blow drying her hair and getting dressed in her favorite sea green pj's there was a knock on the door.

"Finally, un" She muttered anticipating her meal. She almost growled when she saw that it wasn't room service but two guys. One being large and having skin with a light blue tint, the other smaller, black hair in a low ponytail, and thin scars running on either side of his nose. She deadpanned "Look, I don't buy raffle tickets or cookies, I'm not into charity, and I don't want to hear about religion, yeah"

"Deidara Iwa?" The smaller one asked.

"Gatoh, send you?" Deidara glared. "Tell the creep if I don't get my money by tomorrow I'll paint his building with his entrails, un"

"Your different then I expected" The bigger one noted. "Younger, then I figured"

Deidara's already limited patience had begun to dwindle. "Look if you wanted to see me then you should have scheduled an appointment, yeah"

"Are you familiar with the Akatsuki?"

Deidara thought for a few seconds. She'd heard the name a lot. It was a very mysterious gang. Almost everyone with an underworld connection knew the name, but not much else. "Yeah. What of it, un?"

"You will be our latest member" The short one said flatly.

"That's nice, but I'm not interested, hmm" She prepared to slam the door, only to find there was now a foot wedged in keeping it open.

"You make it sound like you have a choice" The blue one grinned, and holy shit his teeth were pointy.

Deidara made a grab for a few smoke grenades she kept in her belt, before realizing her belt was across the room. Fuck.

The little guy slammed his hand into a pressure point and she slumped over unconscious.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

*Deidara's POV*

I groaned and opened my eyes. I remembered what went down. 'Someone is going to die, un'

"Have a nice nap?"

I sat up and found I was in the middle of a hard wood floor. The man who spoke was sitting behind a desk sipping something out of a mug. He had spiked orange hair and at least a dozen piercings on his face.

"If I said no would it matter, un?"

"Probably not" he shrugged. When he stood up I saw two things, he was really tall and muscly, and he had more piercings on his arms. The hell? "I am Pein. I lead the Akatsuki"

"So your the ass who had me kidnapped, yeah?!" I growled, my eyes flashing dangerously.

"I suppose you could put it that way" He mused. He looked at me and I noticed his eyes were purple and had a ripple pattern to them. "The Akatsuki has specialists on just about everything. We're missing an explosion 's where you come in"

I raised an eyebrow. "So you've heard of my art, un. Now the question remains. What's in it for me, yeah?"

He handed me an envelope. "Open it"

I expected money, but was met with three pictures that almost stopped my heart. The first was of me with my arms wrapped around a little boy, we both wore large grins on our faces. A photo of a hospital ID bracelet. Finally a grainy picture of a man with long black hair and a sickly pale face in a crowd.

"If you join us we can help you get your revenge" Pein stated. He held out his hand. "Do we have a deal"

I grabbed his hand and shook it, something akin to a maniac glint in my eye. "Where do I sign, un?"


	2. not a bomb shelter

Woot, this story aint dead yet!

* * *

*two weeks later*

"Danna have you seen my gun powder, hmm?" I called moving a heap of clothes off my desk. I've gotten into the habit of referring to my partner as Sasori no danna. Don't ask me why, because I honestly couldn't tell you.

Leader assigned Sasori to be my partner. I tried to tell him that I don't need a god damn baby sitter, but he didn't listen. To make things worse he firmly believes that art is eternal. Bitch please. True art is a brief instance of pure beauty captured in you mind. Art is an explosion.

"Check under your bed, brat" He said in his usual monotone from his bedroom. Theres a joint bathroom in between that separates our rooms. And yes he calls me brat.

Brat. Danna. The little ways we show that we care.

Sure enough there it was. I needed to finish some of my newer explosives. I picked the box up and headed for the door. "I'm heading to my workroom, un."

"Whatever. Just try not to blow yourself up"

This is as close as Sasori no Danna gets to concern. I walk down the halls. We live in an old warehouse that looks abandoned. The space where I build the bombs is actually a bunker under ground.

"that time, bitch?" Hidan walks up and removes the box. It's a ritual of ours that on mornings he keeps me company when I work, if he's around. He looks me over. "Go get a fucking jacket. It's snowing"

I was wearing a black tank top, sweat pants, sneakers, my goggles, and was wearing my belt diagonally across my torso over one shoulder. I waved my hand dismissively. "I'd just end up taking it off when I started working, un"

"Yeah what ever"

Hidan is eight years older than me, but so far he's my best friend. When I first got here he made some crude comments. The one about me, Danna, and a jar of mayonnaise caused me to snap and I dislocated his jaw. After Kakuzu patched him up and he started talking again, he actually apologized. Thus started our friendship.

We walk outside. He wasn't kidding about it being cold. The snow crunches under my feet and I feel goosebumps on my arms. I fumble with the key and unlock the trap door.

It's cold so for Hidan's sake I flip on the space heater that's set up as soon as the lights are on. I sit on my work bench, flip the goggles on, and Hidan perches himself on a crate.

"Don't you find it fucking ironic?" He asks after a few moments of silence.

"What, un?" I ask connecting a few wires.

"That your doing this shit in a fucking bomb shelter" He clarifies.

I chuckle and finish up. These are the explosives leader requested. Small but can really pack a punch.

For the next few hours I tinker with my supplies until I've got at least seventeen flash grenades, a hand full of cherry bombs, and a sculpture of a bird.

I could have gone longer if Danna hadn't come down, grabbed my ear, and dragged me into the base. "You know I hate waiting and keeping others wait, brat. Leader said to meet him fifteen minutes ago."

"Sorry, un." I mumbled rubbing my sore ear. "I left my phone in my room."

"Your late" Leader said casually. His purple ringed gaze landed on Danna. "I'm a little surprised at you, Sasori"

I think he could have killed me with the glare he sent my way.

"I was joking. Anyway, Deidara. Can you use a gun?" He looked at me.

"Um, I can operate a grenade launcher, un"

"Well Sasori will begin instructing you on the basic gun's you'll be using on assignments." Leader sat down. "You can go now"

Fucking perfect.

Me. Sasori no Danna. Enclosed space. And guns.

What could possibly go wrong?


	3. Art is fleeting

"Honestly brat" Sasori grumbled and walked over to me. He adjusted my arms. "You need to stand up strait and stop fidgeting. It's a simple .33 it won't bite."

I nodded. Then I fired six times at the paper target. Only two got even moderately close to the target.

"God damnit, brat" Danna lifted his own weapon at his target and hit the center of it's chest. "It's not that hard!"

"I'm sorry, Danna, un" I mumbled. "I'm better at throwing things. I don't like guns either..."

"Why not, brat?"

I picked at my black nail polish. "My baby brother was taken away at gun point, un"

"Look it wasn't the gun that wanted to hurt your brother. It was the person holding the gun." In a few steps he was in front of me. "The weapon is only as good as the intentions and skill of the wielder. You can use this to defend yourself and those you care about."

He pressed the gun into my hand and whacked me lightly on the head. He glared softly at me. "Get it through your thick skull brat."

I smiled lightly. "You got it Danna un"

Over the next two days I got better. Soon I could hit the target five out of six times. Sasori ruffled my hair "Good work brat, now you'll be able to go on the mission leader's sending us on"

"M-mission, un?" I mumbled. "I thought I'd just be building explosives for you guys to use, yeah."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "You already know that we operate in pairs. Each pair does missions from time to time. This one will be sabotage."

I pulled a cigarette out of my backpack and lit it. I've been doing it since I was thirteen, ever since... No I can't think about him right now. "What will we be sabotaging, hmm?"

He made a disgusted face."Human trafficking."

I coughed and choked on the air. I knew it had nothing to do with the cigarette though. Danna still took it out of my mouth and crushed it with his foot.

"Those things will kill you" He said flatly. He tucked a manila envelope into my bag. "Those are the details of the mission, memorize them."

He started to walk away. I shouted at him "Those things are fucking expensive, un!"

"Brat" he chuckled

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

I walk the familiar street. Danna doesn't know the details of where I'm going. Leader does and he's okay with it. Good enough for me.

I sign in and make my way to his room.

He's still small, but he's getting bigger and his hair has gotten longer. I haven't seen his gorgeous blue eyes in over a year. He's in a coma and has been since he was nine. He probably should have died, but he's a fighter.

I kiss his forehead and brush some of the hair off his face, before I pull a chair up and hold his hand. "Hi Naruto, un. I miss you like crazy little brother. Please wake up, hmm. Just as soon as you wake up I'll buy all the ramen you can eat and we'll take it to the park...and...and"

I'd started to cry. This isn't fair! He's a ten year old child. He should be playing and running around, eating his body weight in junk food and not comatose!

"Please, un..." I whimper. "Just wake up"

I hold his hand and read his favorite book to him for over an hour. I kiss his cheek and put his stuffed fox toy in his limp little arm. He loves that thing but the nurses always put it on the shelf near his head.

"Bye, Naruto, un"

Then I left.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

I tackled Hidan and wrapped my hands over his eyes. "Don't look they're kissing, un!"

"Bitch!" Hidan pushed me and I tumbled off the couch.

I laughed. So far movie night with Hidan, Kisame, Itachi, and Kakuzu was kinda boring. It was much more fun to make snide comments and mess with Hidan.

"Shut up!" Kisame exploded. "It's getting good"

"What are you going to do if I don't, un?" I taunted getting back on the couch.

"This" He sat on top of me. Thing is this guys like twice my size. I doubt you could even see me from under him.

"This is sexual harassment, yeah!" I squirmed and tried to get out from under him. "I will sue your ass!"

"I think it would help if you could get out from under it" Itachi stated.

"Screw you weasel bastard, un!"

Someone entered the room. "Where's the new girl?"

"Here, un" I raised my hand. Kisame got off me. I shot him a glare "Watch what you drink"

The lady who spoke wore her dark blue hair in a bun with a paper flower. She was pretty and had a kind of self confidence to her. Her amber gaze landed on me. "Come with me for a minute."

I got up and followed her out.

"My names Konan by the way. I'm the organizations second in command." She looked over her shoulder at me. "I knew you were under twenty, but I honestly didn't expect someone so young."

"I get that a lot, un" I smiled slightly "Though I have learned to play the image to my advantage. Most people don't think 'white teenage girl' when they look at bombings. If you know what I mean, un"

She nodded. "Do you drink coffee?"

"Yes, un"

"Good. There's a coffee house near by. I'm going to treat you and get a sense of who you are." Konan smiled lightly at me. "Get your coat"

I nodded. I pulled my jacket on. It's big and dark blue. It goes down to my knees and I have to roll the sleeves up to use my hands, but I love it. I meet Konan by the door and we head out.

When were seated at a little table and we've ordered our coffee she speaks again. "So Deidara, how old are you?"

"I'm fifteen, un"

"I take it you don't have a very good relationships with your parents." Someone handed us our drinks. She took a sip. "I don't mean to be rude, but most parents would have a stroke if their daughter did what you do"

"No." I mumbled stirring. "I haven't really seen my dad since I was six, un. He just kinda dumped me on a curb with a bag of my clothes and drove away. Mom walked out, un"

"I'm sorry"

"It's okay" I took a tentative sip of my coffee. I set it down and smirk slightly. "Besides I got back at the bastard last year, un"

I'm not exactly proud of what I did, but I wouldn't take it back. I spent a year hunting him down, a naive hope we could be a family again fueling my determination. When I caught up with him, he had forgotten me. He had a wife and two kids. I spent the night disemboweling him. I fed what was left of him to some stray dogs.

"I see" Konan said with a nod. "I'm glad we found you before Oto did."

"I wouldn't have joined them, un" I added another sugar packet. "I've got a score to settle with their leader."

"Be careful, Dei-Dei"

I choked a little on my drink. "What did you call me, un?"

She ignored that. "Never underestimate Orochimaru. He used to run with us, and I assure you that not only is he bat shit insane, he's a sadist"

Konan paid and we left. We walked back to where she parked the car. .

"So your telling me he used to be in the Akatsuki, un" I asked burring my hands into my pockets.

"Couple of years ago" She took out a sheet of paper from somewhere in her coat. I thought it was a list or something but she started folding it. "Yeah we kicked him out and he started his own gang. Bastard "

I nodded. She unlocked her car and we got inside.

"We should do this again" Konan said smiling as we drove back to the base. "It's nice having another girl around."

"I guess, un"

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

"It's simple, brat" Sasori pointed at a truck. "I'm going to bust the lock and get the girls out. From there you set off a bomb. Got it?"

"Um Danna, un?"

"For craps sake what?"

I was thinking I could toss in something smaller, yeah. To get attention and draw them in before dropping something big enough to kill a bunch of them." He looked at me weird. "What, un?"

"For once your right about something" He mutters. "Okay, do you have the explosives necessary?"

"Un" I nodded. I handed him the backpack with the larger bomb in it. He's going to plant it

"Don't do anything until I get out of the area." He stood up and placed a mask over his face. It was a simple plastic one that covered his whole face. The kind you buy in bulk from party stores. Fucking Kakuzu."Don't do anything stupid, brat"

He pulled his jacket hood up and walked off. I adjusted my binoculars and waited. I saw the two guards silently drop like flies. I'm not sure what Danna did but it worked. He'd be ready soon.

I dug one of my own inventions out of the duffel I brought. It's like a catapult but you position it like a fancy shotgun. I get it set up and fit it with one of my smaller explosives. This one is going to sound worse than it will be and that makes it perfect.

The last prostitute steps out of the truck bed and scurries off after the others. Danna is no where in sight and the backpack is propped up against one of the back tires. Perfect.

I launch the first explosive. It lands in the bed of the truck and goes off with a loud noise and a flash of light. Beautiful. I pull out the button that will detonate the bomb in the backpack. Soon there are at least twenty people gathered around.

"Now I will enlighten you on true art, un" I grin and hit the button. "It's fleeting"

I felt the heat wave of the blast from here. Holy shit! That was amazing! FEEL MY ART BITCHES!

Someone clamps a gloved hand over my mouth. I panic and prepare to do something violent. "Easy brat. It's me. I figured you'd be startled but we need to get moving or we're as good as dead."

I nodded and packed up. From there we went down the fire escape and took off in the get away car.

"Oh and your wrong by the way" Sasori didn't take his eyes off the road.

"About what, un?"

"Art is eternal, brat" He smiled faintly "Something built to last. That is true beauty."

"But that would be boring, hmm" I pointed out. "Life is only beautiful because it's so fleeting, so transient, un"

Sasori sighed. "Your a stupid brat who doesn't get art"

"I do get art, un" I defended. "It's fleeting"

"eternal, brat"

"fleeting, un"

"Eternal"

"fleeting, un!"

"Eternal!"

"FLEETING, un"

"...ignorant brat"


	4. not so different

I finished the knot. "Okay. I'm done Danna, un"

"...Brat, that's just pitiful." He said glancing at the dummy I'd set up on the tree branch.

"Is not, yeah" I frowned.

Sasori hit the dummy with a well placed kick and it fell to the ground. "Didn't your parents teach you how to tie a proper knot?"

"No, un"

Sasori raised an eyebrow at me and started working on attaching the dummy to the tree. "I take it your parent's weren't the teaching type?"

"They were the abandon-you-on-a curb-as-a small-child type, un" I glared at the ground.

"...I'm sorry to hear that." Sasori tightened the knot and tugged on the rope to test the stability.

"What about you, hmm?" I asked.

"What about me, brat?"

"What were your parents like, un?" I asked.

Sasori dug his wallet out of his jacket pocket. He handed me a photo. One of the people had Sasori's hair and the other was a woman with long brown hair holding a baby in her arms. "That was them. They passed away when I was five, so I don't remember them all that well. I was pretty much raised by my grandmother. I remember my mom was incredibly sweet and my dad could be very sarcastic"

I handed him the photo. He tucked it into his wallet and put it away.

After that he showed me some moves that would incapacitate your opponent even if he/she was like twice your size. It's easy to believe Sasori would know this stuff. I know he's in his thirties but he doesn't look much older then me. He's also what you would describe as being petite, so people tend to underestimate him. That's the worst mistake you can make.

At some point Itachi came out there too. I'm still a little apprehensive about him. He hasn't done anything to me aside from knocking me out the first time we met, but that's enough for me to not like him.

He mainly just sat in a deck chair with a book on psychology, likely enjoying the warm breath of spring.

"Okay brat." Sasori said after a while. "I'm going to get something to eat you can take a break."

I nodded. He walked back inside. I looked over at Itachi. When I saw what was on his face I couldn't help but comment "I didn't know you wore glasses, un"

"I usually don't" He remarks. "Just when I'm reading."

"Why psychology, hmm?"

"I'm taking a coarse on it" He turns the page. "Before you ask I'm in college"

"So your going back to school or something, un?" I ask

"No. I'm actually not much older than you." He fixes the glasses. "I turn nineteen in June"

What the hell? I should have figured that. Now that I look at it he is kind of young. Maybe it's the scars on his face that make him seem older?

"So" Itachi closes the book. "Why'd you do it?"

"un?"

"Join the Akatsuki, I mean" He clarifies.

I inspect the split ends on my hair. "I want to get back at the man who put my brother in a coma, un."

"I see" He looks over at me. "I know what you mean."

"you do, un?"

"I have a little brother too. Sasuke." Itachi looked at the cloudy sky. "He's in a Residential Treatment Center. He's a ten year old child and he's made six suicide attempts because of what someone did to him. Our parents died in a wreck so I had be the one to have him sent there for his own safety"

"W-what happened, un?" I heard myself ask.

"The leader of Oto, Orochimaru, kidnapped him." Itachi made a disgusted face. "It took three weeks for the cops to find him and in that time he'd been repeatedly sexually assaulted. He was never the same"

I put my hand on Itachi's shoulder. "I'm sorry. He got my brother too, took him right in front of me. They injected him with all these drugs and beat him within an inch of his life, un. He hasn't opened his eyes in a year."

We were quiet for a bit.

"Death is too good for Orochimaru" Itachi quietly mused.

"I agree, un" I looked at him. "When Naruto wakes up maybe he and Sasuke could be friends. Their the same age, yeah."

"I think that would be good" He nods.

"Here" I pull a photo out of my pocket. It's Naruto smiling at me over a bowl of ramen. It was the last picture I took of him. "That's my brother, un. He's not blood but I've been taking care of him for years so he may as well be."

"This is Sasuke and I" He flipped his wallet open. In the window was a photo of him and a kid who's dark hair was cut in a way that looked like a ducks butt. He was still adorable.

He stands up and tucks his glasses into the pocket on his shirt. "It was nice talking with you, Deidara"

"You too, yeah" I said as he walked into the building.

When Sasori came back out we trained some more. He said I was making progress, but I still needed a lot of work.

"Leader said to see him" Kakuzu said from the porch before turning and heading inside.

.:.:.:.:.:.

"Your assignment is to observe this man and discretely incapacitate him and his brother" Leader handed the both of us a manila envelope. I pulled the first page out. It was a mugshot of a guy with a clean shaven head and a scarred face scowling at the camera. "His name is Dosu Kinuta and he's been in charge of several recent incidents that put more then ten of my informants in critical condition. He's going to be at a party on Saturday, which will be the perfect window of opportunity. "

"...Isn't this more Itachi's and Kisame's style?" Danna asked with a raised eyebrow.

"They'll be occupied that night." He looked at me. "Leave Dosu to Sasori. You are to target his younger brother. His name is Zaku and his information is in there as well."

"Yes sir, un"

* * *

Yes I get that there is no age gap between Zaku and Dosu in the original, but there is here because it's my story and I'll do what I want. *pout*


End file.
